You're Not Alone Read online

  ***

  The phone woke me out of a dead sleep. It was the first time in months I slept peacefully through the night. No pee break, no voices. I reached over and grabbed the phone. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning, Miss O’Reilly. This is—”

  I interrupted him. He didn’t even need to finish his introduction. Good morning, Miss O’Reilly was enough for me to know who it was. “Yes, Mr. McIntosh. What can I do for you?” I said calmly. As if I didn’t know.

  “Look Miss O’Reilly. I really do understand your situation, but you need to give me something. Either you need to produce a will, deeds, paper, whatever that proves Matthew put

  proceedings in place that name you beneficiary of the properties and not the Shikmans.”

  “I need more time.”

  “I’ll be honest with you. These parents are distraught. They’ve given you enough time. They need something of their son’s to help them get over his passing. It might hold them off from going through with selling the properties. It might buy you some time.” I didn’t answer immediately. “Anything.”

  I actually thought he sounded like he was pleading. I still thought all lawyers were bad, especially ones who worked on Saturday, but his voice softened my anger just a little. “Okay. Tell them I’ll call Kathi and set up a time she can come over and get some of Matthew’s belongings. Only Kathi. I will not deal with his parents—at all.”

  “That should help. Thank you.”

  “And Mr. McIntosh?”

  “Yes?”

  “Next time, please call my lawyer, Joshua Kirban. You can find him on the Internet. Good-bye.” I hung up the phone and leaned back in bed. The whispers started again but there was a different tone to them. They didn’t seem as…urgent as they had previously been. I sat for a while trying hard to distinguish any words from the jumble, but I could only get one now and then. The same words as before…look, stay away, here followed by gentle moaning, but not the loud, creepy moaning you hear on scary television shows.

  I got up and put some sweats on, all the while feeling unusually comfortable as the voices swirled around me. It was the same relaxed feeling I had the night before. Either I was just getting used to it or I really was going nuts. Once again, I followed the voices into the living room. I stood in the middle of the room and listened intently. They were gone. Instinct had me focus my gaze toward the end table.

  The locket was there.

  The last time I saw it was the night before when I put it on the dresser. I walked over to the couch and sat down, purposely not looking at the locket. After several minutes of staring out the window, I took a deep breath and turned to look at it. The locket lay open and inside was a picture of Matthew and I on the front steps of our apartment building the day we bought it.

  I couldn’t comprehend what was going on. Who, or now I was asking what, was changing the picture in the locket and moving it from room to room? I lovingly picked up the locket. I ran my fingers over it feeling the smooth, metal surface, letting my fingers massage the fine creases where the engraved letters spelled out the message he had engraved on it. I turned it over and over in my hands. Why? I didn’t know. But it brought me to the only thing I had left that I could do.

  I put the locket back on the end table and went into the bedroom to get the business card. I walked back into the living room grabbing my new cell phone from the dining room table and sat on the couch. I reached for the locket.

  It was gone.

  I started to shake. Good thing it was Saturday. I would have never made it to work giving Chaz ample opportunity to remind me if I didn’t get my shit together, the business I so lovingly started with Matthew could fail. One more thing I could blame on the Shikmans, I thought.

  Before I could dial the number on the business card, there was a knock at my door. I shook my head and smiled, knowing Mr. Princeton was probably checking up on me. That thought bathed me in relief because right now I definitely needed a live person with me in my apartment.

  I answered the door and was shocked to see the face staring at me. It was not the one I expected.

  “Hi, Quinn.”

  “Kathi. Hi. Um, that was really quick. I just spoke to your parents’ lawyers a little while ago.”

  “I’ll be honest with you. I was already on my way over here when I got the call from their lawyers that you’d see me. I thought about calling, but I didn’t know how you’d react.” She appeared to be scrutinizing the emotions on my face, but I wasn’t going to give her any, mostly because I didn’t know what to think or feel. Kathi hurriedly continued, “I mean I realize my parents aren’t being particularly fair to you…”

  “You could say that.” Now I knew my feelings. I was angry, but it wasn’t Kathi I was angry at. I pretty much knew it wasn’t her fault.

  “Quinn, I’m sorry. They won’t listen to me. I know it might seem like an excuse to you, but they’re just in so much pain since Matthew died. They feel it was their fault.”

  “We’re all in pain, and I think we all share the same propensity to feel guilty, but I wouldn’t attack them because of it, and God knows I have good reason to attack them. After all that time, they never did accept Matthew and me as a couple.”

  “Can I come in?”

  I thought a moment. Kathi had always been kind to me and she showed respect for my relationship with Matthew. I cocked my head and studied her face. Her green eyes held my gaze. I was looking for signs of her metamorphosing into her parents’ line of thinking, but I didn’t see any. I stepped aside. She walked in, and I shut the door.

  “I was just going to get a cup of tea. Would you like something?”

  “A cup of tea would be nice.” Kathi followed me into the kitchen. “How are you? I know it’s a loaded question, but let’s put my parents aside for a bit.”

  I opened a cupboard and took out two mugs. I turned, looked at her and said, “Okay. Your parents aside, it’s been pretty rough.”

  “I’m sorry. I know you miss him. It’s so hard at the end of the day when I realize I didn’t get my daily phone call from him.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said somewhat sarcastically. She missed a daily phone call. I missed the other half of me.

  I filled the mugs with water and put them in the microwave. I pulled a canister out of small pantry closet and opened it, revealing all sorts of flavored teas. Kathi reached in and took an Earl Grey. I took a green tea. I sighed and leaned against the counter.

  “Missing him doesn’t even begin to cover it. I’ve been so lost without him. Add to that, your parents harassing me…” I looked apologetically at her, “I know, parents aside, but it sent me into a downward spiral. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to lose it.”

  The buzzer went off, and I took the mugs out of the microwave. We took our tea bags and mugs and went to the dining room table. After a minute of silence while we sat and dunked our tea bags, I continued on. “Chaz suggested a therapist. I’ve gone a couple times and he’s been a big help, mostly with the grieving process because he pointed out to me I hadn’t even started to mourn him. He’s also been helping me deal with your parents.” I shifted my position in my chair in discomfort of what I was going to say next. “He told me to get a lawyer. So I did.”

  Kathi reached across the table and covered my hand with hers. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know my parents were going to do this, and I’ve tried to talk to them, but they aren’t listening.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me after everything they’ve been doing.”

  “I know, but he was their baby, their shining star.”

  “Must have been hard on you.”

  “Was for a while, but I got used to it. I know they love me—not as much as Matthew, though, but that’s okay. Matthew was special, and I knew that. He was the only boy.”

  I smiled knowing exactly what she meant. Matthew was special. “So, why are you here?”

  “I was already coming over to see you. I know I haven’t call
ed or anything and I apologize for that. I guess we all had to grieve in our own way, but I think it might’ve been easier for you and me if I had called you.” She paused to take a sip of her tea after which she quietly said, “Maybe we could’ve helped each other through this.”

  I gently pulled my hand away and put both of my hands around my mug for warmth. The room seemed to be getting colder. I took a sip of tea and closed my eyes as I waited for the hot liquid to travel through my body and warm me up.

  But the warmth didn’t come. I knew it wouldn’t. The cold wasn’t from the thermostat being turned down, a window opened, or even the rejected feeling I’d been experiencing from Kathi and her parents.

  Kathi looked around the room. “Is there a window open? Kind of cold in here.”

  “Nope, no windows open that I know of.”

  “I don’t remember you liking it this cold."

  “I don’t.” I looked around the room. “But they do.”

  “They?” Kathi’s eyebrows rose.

  “You wouldn’t understand.” As I took another sip of my tea, I heard a door slam in the back of my apartment. That was a first. I heard whispers, but never any other sounds. Even so, I didn’t jump at the noise, but she did.

  “I know it’s none of my business, but is there someone staying with you?”

  I bit my tongue to keep myself from giving her an angry response. If she really knew how much I loved Matthew, she wouldn’t have even thought along those lines. How did I explain to Matthew’s sister I was being haunted? She wouldn’t have believed me.

  “I guess maybe I did leave a window open in the back somewhere. Sometimes I forget. The breeze comes through it and slams the door.”

  Kathi looked uncomfortable. “Shouldn’t we check?”

  I looked hard at her. “Why didn’t you call me?” I challenged in order to change the subject. I half expected her to get up and leave, but she didn’t.

  Kathi looked at me with sad eyes, hopefully forgetting the door slam, if just for a moment. “Quinn, you know more than anyone the tough position I’m in. My parents aren’t easy. I’ve been spending the last six months trying to talk some sense into them. Nothing works. I know you were a couple. They knew you were a couple. The difference is I accepted it. They never did, and sadly, I don’t think they ever will.

  “I finally came to the conclusion it wasn’t worth the fight anymore. All it seemed to do was fuel their attack on you. Last week I overheard them yelling on the phone at their lawyers that they needed to move on this. I realized, I’m sorry to say, that the time had come for me to stop trying to convince them of something I would never be able to. So, I knew I had to come see you and warn you that it’s only going to get worse.”

  “That’s very generous of you,” I said sarcastically as I quickly ran the back of my sleeve across my face, hoping she didn’t see the tears well up in my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “It’s just so hard.” I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I broke down. Kathi came over and wrapped her arms around me. She let me cry for what seemed eternity: for the loss of my one true love, for her parents’ callous treatment of me, and mostly because of the voices (the fact they were there and that I was lost in the mystery of their existence). I cried because I hadn’t grieved for the love of my life, and Kathi being here seemed to be the catalyst I needed to start.

  I went to the living room to find the box of Kleenex on the end table I had become attached to lately and noticed the locket was gone again. I pulled out a clump of tissue and sank down on to the couch. Kathi came over and sat next to me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said again.

  “Nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s sorry. I wish I’d come over sooner.”

  A breeze passed through the living room. It moved with a hushed whisper that glided in between us and skimmed our ears. Kathy stiffened.

  I quickly started talking, hoping to steer her away from all the possible thoughts that could be running through her head. “Kathi, I hate the position this has put you in. I hired a lawyer and I have to say doing so took a lot of pressure off me.”

  She still hadn’t relaxed. She looked skeptically at me and then around the room as she answered, “I know. Don’t worry about me. I love my parents and I love you, too. Please remember that. Whatever happens.”

  “I’ll…try.”

  Kathi seemed to take this as enough for the moment. “Now, let’s talk about what my parents are doing. I know you bought this house and the cottage with Matthew, so why do my parents feel they can take it from you?”

  “I don’t have his will. I don’t even know if he ever made one, and since we’re not married, they want his half. I also haven’t found anything that says he put me down as a beneficiary. His employer or the banks don’t have anything either. So, since your parents didn’t believe in us as a couple, they feel I don’t deserve to keep the properties unless I can buy out Matthew’s half. Because I don’t have the money for his share, they want me to put the properties on the market and move.

  “Their lawyers looked into the worth of both properties and have given me a sum I need to pay in order to keep both places—an amount your parents came up with that I can’t even begin to afford. Any money I had saved up is going to pay the lawyer they’ve forced me to hire and the therapist I need to get through this. I don’t have that kind of money, and I can’t get a loan for that amount either because I’m already close to defaulting on the loan for my business. So I’ll be forced to sell our home and our cottage if I want to keep my business, and that’s just not fair.” I gave Kathi a bleak smile.

  “Did Matthew have a lawyer?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  Kathi’s tension seemed to ease a little. I assumed it was because the noises stopped. “I’ll be honest with you. They’re not going to quit going after his half. Isn’t there anything you can do? Common Law Marriage or something like that?”

  “Hmmpph. I never thought about that. I’ll have to ask my lawyer. He’s working on it but he told me it doesn’t look good.”

  “I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.” She smiled at me and looked around the room once more. “So, do you have it in you to go through some of his stuff and maybe give me a box or two I can take to them? It might hold them off for a while.”

  “That’s what their lawyer said. What kind of stuff?”

  “Anything. Maybe some pictures or cards. Jewelry or clothing you don’t want. Anything you don’t care about or won’t miss.” The look I gave Kathi prompted her to add, “I know right now you don’t want to part with anything, but maybe I can help make it easier and we might even find documents that could help you get my parents off your back.”

  “Okay. We can start in the office.” Another door in the back of the apartment slammed shut. Kathi jumped. “Damn, I must have left that window open. Would explain the chill in the air.” Oh this is bad, I thought to myself. Now doors are slamming. Is there someone back there? Maybe I should get the baseball bat. Shit—it’s in the bedroom closest. Well that would defeat the purpose if the slamming door is the one to the bedroom.

  I was perplexed. I didn’t want to alarm her, but the thought of a possible intruder scared me. If there was a prowler, her five-foot-four, slightly overweight body wouldn’t be much help. I got up from the couch. “Probably should check that out,” I said to her and headed down the hall. Kathi followed.

  “Shouldn’t we leave and call the police?”

  “Nah. I’ve got this.”

  I walked briskly down the hall toward the back of my apartment. I needed my bat in case it was an intruder, therefore I went to the bedroom first hoping the bedroom door was open. It was. I took a quick look before entering.

  Nothing.

  I walked into the room and noticed the window was closed. If the office window wasn’t open, I would have some explaining to do to. I looked in my closet. I didn’t see anything else other than clothes, shoes and boxes. I grabbed the bat
. If anyone was in the office, I would swing and I wouldn’t miss, but if it was…something else, I knew the bat wouldn’t do me any good.

  Kathi stood in the doorway, watching me. I picked up the bat and put my index finger to my lip when she started to say something.

  “Just in case,” I interrupted her.

  I smiled and walked past her to the office, hoping and praying a window was open so I had an excuse to explain the door slamming. The office door was closed. That was good because it helped to solidify my case that a window blew it shut.

  Still, I stopped. I had never closed these doors. Was there a prowler on the other side? I had the bat in my hand and was pretty confident I would connect the bat hard to an intruder if I had to swing, except now I didn’t even know if there would be an intruder (of the flesh, bone, and blood kind).

  I didn’t want to open the door.

  Suddenly, Kathi walked right by me, opened the door and entered the office. I raised the bat and hurried in after her. I stopped short of running into Kathi to watch her sweeping her arm around the room settling on the open window I knew I hadn’t opened. “See? You had nothing to worry about. It was an open window all the time. And it sure is chilly in here.” She went over and shut the window.

  The chill in the room wasn’t a normal feel of cold air entering through a window. It was an icy feeling that pierced your core. But I responded. “Yeah, thanks for closing that. It’s better already.” But it wasn’t. I still felt the biting cold through my veins. I just ignored it like I had been doing for the last few weeks.

  I sighed and went over to the desk, resting the bat against the wall. I’d been putting this off for a long time, and I was actually relieved Kathi was here to help me start this process. Matthew’s belongings, everything—even his toothbrush—was where he left it before he died. I guessed it was time I started to let go a little bit.

  Just a little, though.